Snowballs and White Roses: A Zechs and Noin piece
by chryseis dione
Summary: This is a story about Zechs and Noin and their past and future. I rated it PG13 becuase there is some violence, but not a lot. There is also some angst.
1. Default Chapter

This is my first try at writing fan fiction, so please forgive any small errors. It is a piece divided into two parts and it takes place in three times, before the series, between the series and Endless Waltz, and after Endless Waltz. I do not own Gundam Wing or Endless Waltz or any of the characters. They all belong to the people at Sunrise.  
  
Part One  
  
Snowballs and White Roses: A Zechs and Noin piece  
  
Lucrezia Noin slammed the door behind her and plopped down on her couch. She sighed as she glanced around her apartment. "It's been three months, Zechs," she murmured. "Three months since Libra went down in flames and two and a half months since they held your funeral." Noin gazed across the room to the broken picture frame with that painful picture, the memories clouding her mind.  
  
She had spent the past three months being comforted and told how sorry everyone was for her loss and that they understood her pain. Outwardly, she remained strong and confident, telling everyone she knew that Zechs was out there somewhere. She had been the rock of strength through the tragedy. She had comforted Relena, and had even been civil to Lady Une. In a way, Lady Une was lucky. At least she knew Trieze was gone, and wasn't left with doubts more painful than mere loss.  
  
Her heart told her Zechs was still alive, but there was still a tiny voice in the back of her head. "If he's alive, then where is he?" the voice taunted. Noin ignored the voice, it would make her weak. She was a soldier, and soldiers never cried. It would have been the last thing Zechs would want. And besides, she knew that he had to be alive somewhere. If he weren't alive, than she wouldn't be able to live either. And so she pushed away her doubts and kept her hopes up.  
  
Her phone began to ring. Noin got up off the couch and made her way towards the kitchen. "I'm coming," she mumbled, shuffling over. She picked up the ringing phone and turned it on. "This is Lucrezia Noin," she answered.  
  
"Hey, Noin. this is Sally. Just checking to see how you're holding up," came a vibrant voice from the other end.  
  
Noin was rather angry at that comment. "Why wouldn't I be 'holding up'" she asked defensively.  
  
"You know, Noin, it's okay to grieve for a while. I just wanted to check on you to see if you wanted someone to talk to. I have the feeling you just need to let off a little steam and get it out of your system. Everyone's worried sick about you," the Chinese woman explained, hoping not to trigger Noin's unpredictable defensiveness.  
  
"I'm fine Sally. I know in my heart that he's out there somewhere. I don't need to cry or grieve," Noin explained, trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to convince her friend. It took all her self control to remain calm.  
  
"Listen, you can't keep avoiding this. You've got to accept what happened and move on with life. I've barely been able to talk to you, You know I'm always there if you need anyone to talk to, but I can't help you if you keep avoiding me and brushing me off," Sally tried.  
  
In her apartment, Noin's fist was clenched. "I'm glad you care so much. Goodbye, Sally." She turned off her phone and returned to the couch, letting the dreaded device drop onto the carpet beside her. Everyone always wanted her to cry and mourn. Why should she when she knew he was not dead?  
  
Everyone else had lost their faith in Zechs. They all blindly accepted the fact that he was gone. No matter how she tried to tell them, they wouldn't believe her, wouldn't help her. Noin knew now they all probably thought she was going crazy. They just wanted to take away her hopes. Sally had told her to stop denying what had happened in the past. Noin resented that. She wasn't ignoring the truth, it was everyone else who had given up on him.  
  
Her phone rang once more. She considered letting it ring, but decided to pick it up. The one time she neglected to pick up, it might be him trying to call... "This is Lucrezia Noin," she said, using her normal greeting.  
  
"Noin, this is Lady Une. We need to have a little talk before the Preventer headquarters opens."  
  
"I'm all ears," Noin replied, hoping it was business that Une wanted to talk about.  
  
"Are you positive you're ready to start next week? Do you need a little more time?" Lady Une asked cautiously, remembering Sally's warnings about Noin's delicate temper. Ever since the Eve War, she couldn't tell what would set the dark haired woman off.  
  
On the other end of the line, Noin was getting frustrated. Sally and Lady Une were starting the tag team again for the second time that week. "I don't need time for anything," she replied civilly. "You're the one who should be taking some time off. You've been working too hard on getting everything set up."  
  
"You know what I mean, Lieutenant. I know some really good people if you need someone to talk.." Une tried to finish, but Noin cut her off.  
  
"I really don't need anyone to talk to. And please don't call me Lieutenant. OZ is gone now." she reassured. Her anger was building inside her, but she resolved to stay calm.  
  
Une paused on the other side of the line, and there was a brief period of silence. "You have to listen to this. It isn't going to be easy, but please listen to me," Lady Une began.  
  
"If you're going to tell me to accept the past and move on, you can skip the little speech. I'm going to stick to what I believe," came Noin's answer. "I won't stop believing in him until I see proof."  
  
"Noin..." Lady Une pleaded. The reports before her were terrible, and she didn't want to say it. But if it would bring Noin back to reality, it would be worth it. She had been unreachable for the past few weeks. The young woman had been heard talking to herself or to the air, had ignored half the calls she got, and was worrying everyone who knew her. Taking a deep breath, Lady Une delivered her news. "They investigated what was left of Libra in space. All that's left are the little pieces that didn't burn up in the atmosphere. The entire ship and everything on it was blown to pieces. They found some things... some things from Epyon. Noin, there's no possible way..."  
  
Her voice trailed off as she listened for the reaction. All Lady Une could hear on the other end was a crash, and then the signal was lost. She sighed. This was not going well. She lowered the phone and made another call.  
  
In her apartment, Noin had let the phone fly across the room and watched as it hit the wall. She knew she should feel sad, but all she felt was anger. They had to keep trying to crush her hopes and destroy her faith. She felt outraged and ashamed. Everyone else thought she was crazy and treated her like a little child. But it wasn't their fault.  
  
This was her own fault for ever getting so attached to the man who called himself Zechs. She had always prided herself on being a strong, sturdy woman, someone who could get along on her own. Now, she was weakening to the point of insanity just thinking about his death.  
  
"Why?" she yelled, as if he were standing in the apartment with her. "Where are you? Why did you leave me alone with those memories?" she raged, not bothering to brush back the dark hair falling in her face.  
  
"Why did I let you take my life away from me?" she questioned. She could perfectly remember his words before he left to fight Wing Zero. Zechs had told her to leave him to die in the final battle. He wanted her to live in peace, and be innocent and free from the sins and stains of war. He had begged her to forget about him. And yet, she had ignored him, blinding herself to the danger. It was her own fault that all this was happening.  
  
She had clung to the belief that he was alive for three months. And yet, he still wasn't here with her. If he was alive, wouldn't he come back to her? Maybe she had been a fool all those years, giving her heart to someone who would not love her in return. Would it be any better to believe that he never cared for her than it would be to believe that he was dead?  
  
"I don't know what to believe!" she spat angrily. "Zechs, what have you done to me? What have I done to myself?" I just want it all to stop. There's just too much pain, too many memories!"  
  
She walked over to the wall and pounded it with her fist, welcoming the pain. Everything was trapped inside of her, torturing her. His face played over and over again in her memory, haunting her. She could see him clearly, sitting across from her during a study session, almost smiling at her. And the best day of her life.. And yet, there was never an "I love you."  
  
Noin pulled her handgun from it's holster. Her life was so worthless. She jammed it against the place she knew her heart was at. Soon, she would be rid of all her fear and anger. "I'll see you soon, Zechs," she said bitterly. " And when I do, you're going to get a piece of my mind." Carefully, she wrapped one thumb around the trigger. She stopped for a minute, feeling the cool metal against her bare fingers. slowly, she pressed the trigger.  
  
Outside, Sally was getting worried. She had been knocking on Noin's front door for quite some time. When she heard yelling from inside, she knew there was trouble. "Noin? I'm coming in! I'll kick this door down if I have to!" she warned. There was no answer, only a dead silence. Sally backed up to the other side of the hallway and charged, throwing her weight against the door, which gave way and smashed down.  
  
Noin's finger pulled the trigger just as Sally burst in. She jerked at the noise coming from her kitchen and felt a sharp pain run through her abdomen. Sally rushed in, and Noin felt angry at first, but became calm after a while. She dropped to the ground, blackness wrapping it self around her and blocking out her pain.  
  
*  
  
The clicking of computer keys could be heard from a library somewhere in Europe. A young man sat in the back, working all alone in the nearly deserted library. He had a stern look on his face, pausing only to brush away a wisp of platinum blonde hair away from his eyes.  
  
He accessed another record of mobile suits destroyed during the Eve War. He scanned the list for the little white Taurus that he remembered all to well. No results showed up. Zechs moved to the list of people missing in action. The entry for "Peacecraft, Milliardo" came up, but "Noin, Lucrezia" was no where to be found. She had to be somewhere. Her Taurus was by Libra when the thing had exploded, which was the last place she should have been. And worse yet, she had been there because of him. Had she gotten away before the blast? He would search for her until he was sure she was okay. His mind was endlessly churning with questions. Was she alright? Had she moved on with her life? And maybe, she had found someone to love, someone she truly deserved.  
  
Zechs had resolved long ago to stay distant. Deep inside of him, he knew that he had to let Noin live the life she deserved, a life without him in it. She had everything to look forward to. With her amazing talent, she could keep on helping people like she had always wanted.  
  
He began to worry about finding her. He had long memorized her phone number, but he didn't want to use it because he knew that once he heard her voice, his senses would be lost. There had to be another place to check for any evidence that she was alive. She had to be alive. He could feel it in his heart. Or maybe he just hoped...  
  
A last resort, Zechs accessed hospital records in the Sanc Kingdom.. The computer beeped and buzzed, letting him know it was loading. Impatiently, Zechs brushed the hair away from his face and pulled his hat down to cover his features. The computer finally gave him access to the list in one of the smaller hospitals in the area. The lists were neat and well updated. It gave access to the list of patients, their admit dates and times, as well as their condition. His hacking skills had paid off. Quickly, he scanned the list, wondering if his search would ever end.  
  
And then, he found it. Lucrezia Noin was on the list. Admitted... five minutes ago? Critical condition! Without a second thought, the former pilot buttoned up his trenchcoat and took off. He hurried out of the library and to his car. Checking his watch, he started the engine, picturing once more the dark haired woman who was present in his thoughts night and day. He forgot his resolve to let her move on with her life. All he knew was that she was hurt, and that she needed him. A voice from deep inside of him screamed at him to stop before all the strength and immunity he had built up over the years dissolved into those gorgeous violet eyes.  
  
After and hour of driving, he half returned to his senses, but his resolve remained. And yet, this was all pointless. He couldn't let her get mixed up in his life again. She was too precious to be hurt. He had always tried to push her away, hoping she would leave him and free her soul of his burdens. But as he tried to get her to forget him, she only cared more. After years of friendship and admiration, he had realized she meant too much to him to drag her down into the cold world that was his life.  
  
The only times her had allowed himself to actually let his love for her take over his mind were the times he believed he would never see her again. Only then could he let her know what was on his mind. He had thought it wouldn't matter. Time should have cleared her memory of him, but he had no such luck. He was the only one who deserved to remember their painful yet beautiful memories of a shattered past.  
  
After stopping for gas halfway there, he sped off again. Inside of him, he knew he had to see her again. With any luck, he could slip in while she was sleeping. The last thing Zechs wanted was to plunge her into his own problems again. She was too precious to be hurt, and he had to put her life above his own feelings.  
  
The rhythm of the humming engine lulled him, and he calmed down as he kept driving. The old softness was returning to him and he didn't bother to push it away. "Lucrezia." He whispered her name into the wind, simply enjoying the sound of her name and the way it rolled off his tongue. He would see her soon, and would find out if she would be all right.  
  
It seemed like an eternity before he reached the hospital. It was late in the evening and already getting dark. Zechs couldn't have planned it better. She would be asleep most likely. Half a smile on his face, he jumped out of his car and sprinted from the parking lot to the main building. As he entered, something in the small gift shop caught his eye. There was a beautiful bunch of snow-white roses tied with a ribbon that reminded him of her eyes. Zechs picked up the flowers reverently, closing his eyes as he remembered how she told him about her favorite flowers. He brought them over to the cash register.  
  
He paid for the flowers, and the cashier handed him a gift card. "Do you have a pen?" he asked the girl. She handed him a red felt tipped pen, and Zechs studied the card. It was very simple, saying "Get Well Soon" and allowing a place to write who the card was to and who it was from. He tried to keep his hand from shaking as he inscribed the name 'Lucrezia Noin' on the card. Setting the pen down on the counter, he turned and made his way to the main desk.  
  
"Excuse me, I need to find a woman by the name of Lucrezia Noin, She got here 3 and a half hours ago. It's imperative that I find her," Zechs asked the receptionist.  
  
"Are you a spouse or relation?" the woman asked, looking up at the young man, knowing the answer to his question. She could read the worry on his face.  
  
"No," her answered. "I'm her... best friend." He paused, thinking of how lame that must have sounded.  
  
"She's really not in the condition to receive visitors. You can come back tomorrow morning as early as you like."  
  
"Please, I just need to see her,"  
  
"Sir, she's in the Intensive Care Unit. Miss Noin is just recovering from major surgery after a very serious injury. Visiting hours are over," the woman restated. Zechs nodded and walked away from the main desk, his mind taking in this new information. He turned around the corner, and stealthily made his way to the intensive care unit of the small hospital.  
  
He snuck through the hall, the roses still in his arms. He reached the unit and started looking for the name "Noin" on the doors. No nurses were in the hallway then, thankfully. He hoped that one didn't come along and ask him to leave. At last, he found her room. He peeked inside, only to see his beloved Lucrezia sleeping off the anesthetic. Carefully, Zechs slipped into the room. He stared down at his beloved, her gorgeous eyes closed.  
  
He walked over to her sleeping figure. Setting the roses down on the bedside table, he knelt beside her. "I'm here, my dear," he whispered. "I know in my heart that whatever has happened, you will get better. I'm sorry I was not there for you. I only wish that I could have come here sooner, but I don't have things figured out yet." Speaking to her liberated him once again, even though he knew she could not hear a word he was saying.  
  
Zechs could not resist the temptation any longer. He stood by her side and brushed his bare fingers through her silky, dark hair. She was so beautiful, so innocent. He cradled her delicate hand in his, that beautiful hand with its long nimble fingers that had been scarred and callused from mobile suit piloting. He longed to look her in the eyes again. He would even laugh at her jokes, instead of trying to stop his own emotions.   
  
Here she was, lying there so helpless. He hated that she ever should have suffered. "What happened to you, Lu?" he asked, careful not to wake her. "Why are you here?" Zechs walked to the end of the hospital bed where a clipboard hung. His Lucrezia, it read, had suffered from a bullet wound to her abdomen.  
  
Zechs almost cried out. He was infuriated. Then and there, he swore that he would personally hunt down whoever had done this to Noin. How could anyone hurt someone so honest, so pure, so beautiful. He had failed to protect her, which hurt him more than any bullet. He looked half-heartedly at the rest of the report. All of a sudden, two more words jumped out at him: self inflicted...  
  
He let the clipboard drop and knock against the end of the bed. Slowly, he crossed over to the slumbering woman. "Lucrezia, what's wrong?" he begged. "Why did you ever do something like this? You have so much to live for. Did I ruin your life like I ruined mine? I know it will be hard for you, but you must forget me. You deserve so much more than I could ever give you." He stroked her hand gently.  
  
"I never told you, Lucrezia, but I love you more than life itself. Your life is so much more precious than my own, which is why I can't stay here with you. You need to recover and let me out of your life. And yet, I still hope you know that I will always keep you in my heart, Lu," he told her, losing control as his voice quivered. He wanted nothing more than to stay by her side until she woke up, to let her cry against his shoulder and dry her tears. His lips could barely form the words he wanted. He tried to say good-bye, but he couldn't. And so, he left with the only words he could say to her, the words that he had always wanted to say to her. "I love you, Lucrezia." He let his hand brush through her hair one last time. With a heavy heart, he left her side, ready to disappear into oblivion once more.  



	2. Snowballs and White Roses: Part Two

Part Two  
Noin awoke to pain that spread throughout her side, but also with a warm, comforted feeling that she hadn't felt since... "Zechs?" she mumbled quietly. No one else could ever make her feel that way, make her feel protected, loved, comforted.  
The pain returned, which distracted her from her thoughts and feelings. The memories came back. She remembered the bullet intended to destroy her heart completely. She remembered someone crashing into her apartment and Sally's worried face. Most of all, she could hear the echoing of the gunshot. And yet, she was not dead. Her decision to end the pain had failed. "I failed myself and everyone else," Noin thought bitterly.  
Through her pain and despair, Noin thought she smelled the scent of roses. She opened her eyes completely and looked over to where she smelled the flowers. On her bedside table was a huge bouquet of white roses.  
Noin smiled, cherishing the sight of the roses. Despite the pain, she reached for a card propped against the flowers. It was very plain, obviously from a gift shop. Her full name was written in a careful, curling hand. The card did not say who the roses were from, but Noin already knew.  
Only one person knew why white roses were her favorite flowers. Only one person besides her father had ever called her Lucrezia. Her knowledge lifted her spirits and gave her a new reason to live. This had to be from Zechs. Which meant he was alive out there somewhere.  
"So you do care," she whispered into the wind. "I'm sorry I stopped believing in you. I only wish you would stay here with me." Talking to him helped to keep her mind off the pain that was slowly returning.  
"You know, Zechs, no matter what you try to do or say, I'll be by your side. I promise not to leave you alone in this lonely world. I'm sorry I ever tried to leave you like that. All I wanted was to end all my doubts," she pleaded. If only her were still there, Noin would tell him how much she needed him.  
She drifted off to sleep only to dream of their days together. Those had been the best times of her life. She remembered their academy days, when the relationship they shared wasn't love, but the deepest of friendships. She had been so lonely, as had he. They had grown close and formed a deep trust. That had been the beginning of happiness...  
*  
AC 193  
"What do we do now?" Zechs Merquise asked his best friend. She sat on the edge of the bed in his dormitory, still fuming over their recent argument.  
"We put this all behind us and have fun with each other while we still can," came Cadet Noin's sensible reply. She looked up at Zechs, her one true friend. Noin wished she could at least see his face. Then she could read his emotions and figure out what to say to ease the tension.  
"You know, we do have a few more days left before we go our separate ways..." he offered, amazed at his own words. Only a few more days before they were split up for good. The lives of an instructor and combat pilot were very different.  
"We should go somewhere nice for a while. Just take a vacation together! It would be lots of fun," Noin exclaimed, knowing exactly what he was thinking. After years of being friends, they knew each other better than they knew themselves.  
Zechs crossed over and sat down beside her on the bed in the nearly empty room. "Where would we go? Africa's really not that exciting, and it's winter in Europe!" he asked her with a rare smile. He saw Noin smile in return, and felt the way he always did when he was with her. She had been begging him to cheer up and smile more lately.  
"Somewhere with mountains," she said, her eyes sparkling excitedly. Zechs only nodded in consent. It would be nice to get away from the academy and OZ for a while. It would be great just to be Zechs and Lucrezia, not Cadet Merquise and Cadet Noin.  
"That sounds just great, Lu. I know just the place to go. We can probably get going tomorrow, if you want." Noin smiled at that. Zechs loved her first name, and had called her either Lucrezia or Lu almost as long as she had known him.  
"Listen, Zechs, it's getting late. I'd better get back to my room to get some sleep. I'm glad we worked things out," she said happily. Zechs helped her gather up her books and walked over to the door with her. "Goodnight," Noin added as she left.  
"Sweet dreams, Lucrezia," Zechs called after her. His door thudded shut, and he let out a deep breath. Their fight was over, thankfully. For the past few days, he had regretted getting upset with her for letting him beat her for first place in the grade books. Now, they could spend their last few days together as the best of friends.  
No, more than the best of friends. Zechs couldn't help the way her felt about the pretty, brilliant dark haired cadet. She was the one pulling him through the hard life at the academy, and she meant everything to him. There were a few times when he thought her would lose her like he lost everything else he cared about. But she had stubbornly stayed with him, been his confidante. He fell asleep thinking about her, as usual.  
The next morning, the two cadets found themselves in a plane headed for the Alps, a place Zechs told Noin all about. "I hear that this place has a frozen lake for ice skating and great mountain trails. If you want snow, you'll get plenty of it," he explained as they neared their destination. He chattered on nervously.  
Noin did not hear him. She was sound asleep, slowly leaning to the side. Zechs had started in about what he knew about their vacation site a while ago. Since he was rarely talkative, she had been surprised at first, but quickly drifted off while he started talking about snow. It took Zechs a considerable amount of time to notice that Noin was asleep. He had been nervously talking away, desperate to fill the silence and not waste their precious time together. He finally realized he had lost his listener when Noin's head plopped onto his shoulder. "Smooth move, Zechs, you put her to sleep, you were so boring. Serves you right for not putting your brain in control," he chided himself.  
Zechs shifted and let Noin rest against him. He couldn't believe that they were almost seventeen already. Graduation had seemed almost unreal. They had gone through so much together during their days at Lake Victoria Academy. He remembered all too well his first year there. Only a ten year old, he had still been confused after living with Trieze Khushrenada and Dorothy Catalonia for four years. His mask had been difficult to get used to, and it was even more difficult to get used to being Zechs Merquise.  
He had met her during a mobile suit combat session. They fought and to his surprise, she beat him. She was the first and only person to do so. She had come over afterwards to congratulate him on a good battle. After five minutes of conversation, he was hooked. They had talked all through the lunch hour and into their next class. He realized that she knew what he was going through. They became the best of friends.  
Zechs snapped back into the present as the plane announced that it would be landing soon. He gently woke Noin, who yawned and slowly opened her big purple eyes. "Are we there yet?" she asked, still a little sleepy.  
"We're getting ready to land," he explained. "We'll be there in a little while."  
After departing the plane and calling a cab, Noin and Zechs reached their destination: a small lodge at the base of a beautiful mountain. Noin marveled at the sights of the small tourist village. The lodge was a cozy place with a rustic look to it. Zechs offered to help Noin carry her stuff in, which took Noin aback.  
"I think I can carry a few bags! I'm not an invalid!" she laughed. Zechs didn't blush, but instead paled with embarrassment. Noin sensed his uneasiness and gave him a wide grin. "Maybe I should be the one helping you carry your bags. We wouldn't want the number one graduate of Lake Victoria to pull a muscle, would we?" she said jokingly, trying to ease the tension.  
Zechs let the left side of his lip curl up slightly and lifted bags out of the taxi's trunk. Grabbing their own bags, the two made their way inside. Zechs checked in while Noin looked at a small map of the lodge to see where the rooms they had reserved were located. They were next to each other. She remained by the map until her friend came over with the keys to their rooms.  
After getting settled in the comfortable room, Noin grabbed her ice skates and ran over to Zechs' room. She knocked on the door only to hear him yell, "Hold on a minute, I'm coming." When he opened the door, he was ready to go, skates already in hand. "I thought we'd go skating. I see you've read my mind again. Let's go," he said determinedly.  
The pond outside was frozen solid, with couples skating around happily. Noin felt quite unstable at first. She clutched Zech's hand tightly, wondering how he kept his balance on the slippery ice. Slowly, he taught her more and more about how to skate and how to keep her balance. Eventually, they were gliding along pretty well.  
Noin was having more fun than she'd had in years. Just being with Zechs was fun. He had been so amiable lately, not as serious as usual. She decided that she liked this side of him. As they skated along joyfully, her hand in his, she began to realize the little things that she had not noticed before. He was strong and sure, skating with her across the frozen pond gracefully. Even with the helmet, he's not that bad at all... she found herself thinking. Get a hold of yourself, Noin! she silently reprimanded herself. He's just your best friend.  
Zechs carefully glided with her across the ice, cherishing every moment. The feeling of her delicate hand in his and the sound of her laughter made him happier than he had ever been. It wouldn't be long before they would have to part, their lives going down different paths. What would he do without her to rely on, ot trust with all of his secrets and problems?  
"Let's try that!" Noin said excitedly, pointing to a couple spinning around on the ice.  
"Are you sure? It's not as easy as it looks," he warned.  
"Oh, come on, Zechs. It will be lots of fun!"  
"Okay Lucrezia. Take a hold of both my hands and hold on tight." She wrapped her hands tightly around his as they slowly began to spin around. They built up speed, and soon Noin found herself getting dizzy. She loved the feeling it gave her, a crazy lightheaded feeling. Finally, they came to a stop, both of them so dizzy they could barely stumble of the ice.  
Zechs led Noin past the pond over toward a small forest at the foot of the mountain to calm down. "That was," he paused to gasp, "a lot of fun." Gasp. "Are you," gasp, "as dizzy as I am?"  
"Yeah," Noin sighed happily. She was having a blast in this place. Zechs stopped by a tree to catch his breath, telling Noin to go ahead and return to the lodge. Suddenly, Zechs felt something cold, wet, and solid hit him. He turned around only to be promptly pummeled by a barrage of snowballs. As he wiped snow off his mask, he could see Noin behind a fallen log, a snowball in her hand and a smirk spread across her face. "Hey, Zechs! Looks like I'm the champion now!" she called.  
"Oh are you? All right, Lu, you asked for it!" he yelled back, carefully forming a snowball. All out war broke out between them as snowballs flew back and forth. Zechs managed to hit Noin in the face with a slushball just as she popped up over her log. She looked upset for a while, but began throwing snowballs at him again. His mask protected him from most of her snowballs.  
Surprisingly, she got up and marched toward him. Zechs stopped, a snowball still clutched in his hand. Noin walked up to him, a look that was upset, yet mischievous gracing her eyes. "Off with the mask, Zechs. It's not fair," she said.  
Noin reached to pull of the mask with both hands. Zechs pulled away, and she ended up with both hands on his muscled shoulders. "Zechs, is there something wrong?" You know, I don't care what's under there. I would never judge you," she told him softly, gazing up at him.  
"Lucrezia, I can't," he began, not knowing what to say.  
"Don't worry about what you look like under there. You can trust me," she tried. All she wanted was to be able to look him in the face and maybe smack him upside the head with a snowball or two to get even.  
Zechs felt as if he were betraying her trust. His own gloved hands brushed the cold metal mask he had worn for seven years. Something inside of him urged him to tell her what was wrong. He took a deep breath. "I trust you, Lu," he answered. Swiftly, before he could think twice, he pulled his mask off. He looked down at her clearly.  
Noin was completely taken aback. He had a handsome face framed by wisps of platinum blonde hair. It was Zech's eyes, however, that captivated her. They were nail blue and had amazing depth and complexity. She gazed deeply into his eyes as she had always wanted to, seeing both sadness and pain.  
"Zechs," she began weakly. "Why do you wear that mask. You're..." Noin blushed and started again. "What are you trying to hide?" She was still mesmerized by his face.  
"I trust you," Zechs repeated, the barriers between them breaking down as he took her hands and sat down with her on a fallen log. "I'm not who you think I am. My real name is Milliardo. Milliardo Peacecraft." He waited for it to sink in.  
"Of the Sanc kingdom?" Noin asked softly with concern in her voice. Zechs nodded and continued.  
"It's a long story, Lucrezia. I was only six when it happened." Zechs/Milliardo bowed his head, letting his photographic memory take over.  
"I had argued with my father again. We were always at odds, he and I. I wanted so badly to be like him, to follow in his footsteps, but I wanted to fight the Federation. I couldn't understand complete pacifism. It seemed to me a silly notion."  
"It was my mother who I loved most. She was the one who convinced Father to allow me to stay when Relena had to be sent away to safety It was her I went to after I argued with my father that morning. She was so kind, so graceful. She talked to me, told me that my father really loved me, that he was just worried for his people and his kingdom." Zech's voice began to falter as memories of his family flooded back to him. Noin gave him a big hug, knowing that now it was her turn to listen and comfort. Zechs returned the hug, burying his face in her dark hair. The memories were painful, but sharing them with her helped.  
"I wanted to do something for them," he started again. "My mother loved white roses and so did my father. Mother told me once that white roses were pure and symbolized peace and serenity."  
"I know. My father grew them before he died. My favorite flower..." Noin mumbled, almost inaudibly. She let Zechs continue to whisper in his story in her ear.  
"I walked all the way to the garden on the other side of the palace grounds. My intention was to get a bouquet of white roses for my parents to tell them I was sorry. I barely notices the first wave of mobile suits on the horizon. I was working away at cutting off roses to add to my bunch. I ignored the prickly thorns, thinking only of how to apologize. At last, I tied together my bunch of flowers and my senses returned.  
The mobile suits began to attack my home, my family. I was far away, and all I could do was call out to them. It had been a good forty-five minute walk to the garden. I took off to go to my parents, hanging on to my roses. Maybe I thought that if I got there, the flames and destruction would stop. I ran as fast as I could, but I didn't get there until the mobile suits were leaving. My home, my family was destroyed."  
Zechs let his tears flow as he relived the despair of losing his family. Noin only listened and gave him a shoulder to cry on as he continued. "I searched everywhere for them. I found little things amid the ruins of the palace, things like my mother's necklace and a picture of our family." He reached into his pocket and tenderly showed her his picture of the Peacecraft family.  
"In such a short time, the Federation destroyed my life and my ideals. From the moment I lay my bouquet on the bodies of my murdered parents, I swore revenge. So here I am, learning to kill, betraying my father once more. I have stained the Peacecraft name and am no longer fit to bear my father's legacy," he finished.  
As Noin listened to him, she couldn't help but realize that she was falling in love with this guy in her arms. She pulled back and looked at the young man who was her best friend, and yet so much more. He needed her now, and she would be by his side, helping him through this. "There was nothing you could have done, Zechs. It wasn't your fault," she comforted.  
He let the tears flow, letting out the emotions that he had suppressed for seven years. "I feel like a child again, leaving my hopes and strength with those white roses as the last tribute to my parents. I feel so weak," he mumbled.  
"Everyone cries, Zechs. It's okay to cry sometimes. Just remember that I will always be there for you," she whispered, brushing the tears from his soft cheek.  
Snowflakes fell down on them as they say out in the forest, Zechs sitting beside Noin with her arms still around him. After a lengthy silence, Noin spoke up. "I love snow. Each snowflake is different and none of them are perfect. Depending on the conditions, it could have been many different things, but it can't change the fact that it is just a snowflake. But when they all join together, they bring joy to people everywhere," she told him and he leaned against her and closed his eyes. Zechs made a small noise in his throat that told Noin he heard her. She smiled and rested her head against his, just enjoying the silence.  
Their vacation quickly came to an end after that. Zechs regretted leaving. His love for Lucrezia Noin had grown more and more with each day. Her strength and compassion had pulled him through and she shared his burdens and secrets willingly. In a way, however, he was glad he had to leave soon. Deep inside him, he knew he couldn't hurt her by dragging her down into his own fights.  
Noin was also filled with regret. She had hoped their vacation would last forever. Before those lovely days, he had merely been her best friend. Since she looked into his eyes and heard him pour out his soul, Zechs had received her undying loyalty and love.  
As she finished packing up, she heard a knock at her door. "You don't need to knock, Zechs. Just come on in," she called, still folding her things. He came into her room, filling it with his warm presence.  
"Lucrezia, I have to leave now," he began simply, not able to find any better words. "I've got a few things for you before I go" He pulled a beautiful gold locket from the pocket of his uniform and discarded the mask. He approached her and fastened it around her neck. "It used to belong to my mother. I want you to have it," he explained.  
Noin was speechless. Zechs then reached into his bag and revealed a pure white rose in full bloom. "I'm going to miss you, Lu. You'll be in my heart." Her fingers curled around the flower.  
"Oh, Zechs," she sighed. She gave him another big hug, one he gladly returned. Then, something happened that neither of them expected. Zechs brushed Noin's bangs aside and leaned down. Noin pushed up on her tiptoes, and their lips met. For a moment, the world around them disappeared as the held tightly to each other, their lips locked. And then, before Noin knew it, Zechs was gone and she was left alone and confused. And yet, she also felt stronger and more complete. In her heart, she would remember what had happened on that day forever.  
*  
AC 196  
Noin sighed and remembered the kiss that had plunged them both into confusion. She had fallen head over heels after that kiss: her life would never be the same again. Zechs was still with her in every dream. And she swore never to let anything come between them again.  
Sally came to her in the hospital. Noin thanked her for sticking by her for so long. Without Sally, she would have succeeded in ending her life. Now, she was so glad that she had failed. Noin also promised Sally that she would put the past behind her and start again. The other woman was very relieved to have the old Noin back.  
The rest of the year flew by as Noin took on the responsibilities of Preventer Fire. The Mariemaia conflict sprang up, bringing an unknown surprise. She had gone directly to the hangar where her Taurus was. It had been strangely empty, no technicians buzzing about. And only one other mobile suit was in the hangar- the Talgeese III. She stared up at it for the longest time, hoping, praying... And then, two strong arms wrapped themselves around her. She twisted her head and looked up at him, a smile spreading across her face. She almost thought she dreaming. And yet, he was really, she knew it by the look in his eyes. They were eyes that had lost so much sadness, and contained a hint of sparkling joy, despite the sincerity of the situation. Zechs returned to her world, this time for good. Noin was thrilled when Lady Une assigned her to work with him on the Terraforming project.  
She had a few days to clear out her apartment. Reverently, she tucked her picture of Zechs into a box. "Soon," she whispered to herself, smiling. Noin went out on her small balcony of her apartment and gathered up her rather neglected plants and peeled window stickers off her window.  
Suddenly, a snowball hit her in the head. Outraged, Noin turned to search for the culprit. Not a soul was on the street below. She looked up and down the street for someone to blame. She had no luck spotting the fiend on a different balcony either. The snow began to fall around her almost mockingly.  
The door opened behind her. She saw a wisp of platinum blonde hair blow past her, and felt a strong hand rest on her shoulder. She turned around and found herself looking up at Zechs Merquise. In his hand was a large white rose. It was full and breathtakingly beautiful. "I told you that you'd be in my heart. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for ever hurting you. Will you forgive me?" he asked gently.  
"You don't need to ask for my forgiveness," she said, wrapping her arms around him.  
"I have to, Lucrezia. Can you ever forgive me for what I did to your life?"  
"Only if you promise not to leave me again."  
"Is that a yes?" he asked, pulling away from her embrace.  
"Yes."  
"Then will you marry me?" He handed her the rose. In the middle, a diamond ring sparkled. His nimble fingers pulled it out, holding it before her as the snow fell around them. To Noin, it seemed as if the stars were reflecting in Zech's eyes.   
"I will be by your side until the end of time," she answered softly. He slipped the ring onto her finger and they let their souls take over.  
She had almost forgotten what it was like just to be close to him with his hair tickling her face as his lips brushed hers lightly. His arms wrapped around her warmed her, and she finally felt happy, no longer confused or upset.  
"I don't think I ever said I love you," Zechs whispered in her ear.  
"You didn't need too," she replied.  
THE END  
  



End file.
